How to live with a LGBT person in family?

Parents offered tips on understanding sexual orientation of children

C Shivakumar

Chennai:

In a bid to provide basic information and narratives by Chennai-based parents who have opened up about their personal journeys into understanding their children who are lesbian, gay, bi-sexual or transgender, two members of Chennai Rainbow Coalition have come together to make available resources and support for families of LGBT youth.

Orinam, an informal collective of LGBT people and supporters, in existence in Chennai since 2003 along with The East-West Center for Counselling, founded by internationally recognized counselor-trainer Magdalene Jeyarathnam is organizing a family meet of LGBT community on Saturday to make available resources and support for families of LGBT youth.

Speaking to Express, L Ramakrishnan, country director of programmes and research, Solidarity and Action Against The HIV Infection in India (SAATHI) and vulnteer of Orinam, said that parents face a dilemma when the children open up to them about their sexual orientation.

“The meeting is being held to create awareness among the parents who worry about the future of the children. The message is for parents to accept their children’s sexual orientation or their gender  identity  otherwise it could only further create pain in the lives of their child,” he said.

He said many parents of Orinam members and volunteers have served as informal support systems for other parents located in Chennai and elsewhere. Some have also signed on to a petition to the Supreme Court of India, asking that it endorse the 2009 landmark ruling of Delhi High Court that decriminalized adult consensual homosexuality by reading down Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.

Interestingly, in Chennai alone, there are nearly 20 groups working to advance dignity, human rights and health for LGBT communities.   These groups, under the umbrella of the Chennai Rainbow Coalition, are celebrating Chennai Rainbow Pride in June and July 2013, for the fifth consecutive year.

The event will also have Chitra Palekar, a noted theatre-person and filmmaker, speaking on the issue. Palekar is a happy and proud mother of a lesbian daughter, her only child.

One of the signatories of the Parents’ Petition in the Supreme Court, in support of the Delhi High Court’s decriminalization of homosexuality, Chitra, who is in her sixties, argues for equal rights for the LGBT community through various media. She also supports other parents in resolving their various concerns about their LGBT children.

Magdalene Jeyarathnam director of   The East-West Center for Counselling, founded by internationally recognized counselor-trainer,  said that parents need psychologically emotional support. She also said that it is women who fear to come out. Magdalene who as worked with the community for nearly a decade says Tamil Nadu is the most progressive state when it comes to accepting the sexual orientation of a person. “Here parents are least bothered about other’s sexual orientation until it happens to be one of their child,” she said.

It is here the parents who have just learned about their children’s sexuality or gender identity, get to meet other parents who have known for significantly longer about their own children. The latter are able to offer reassurance and support, she says.